Recycling (Satire Project)

We live in a world where everywhere we go there are bottles and cans. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people throw their trash anywhere they want, when there is a trash bin so close to them. I mean c'mon! It's only a 15 second walk to get to the trash bin. Waste has such a huge negative impact on the environment. There are animals who are hungry, that they'll eat the waste clueless on knowing that it could kill them. Recycling is so important because of it reducing pollution and making the  environment so much better. People say, one must start recycling in order for others to start recycling.We keep saying that but it's not making a difference. With that being said, let's start recycling people. First off, lets start on getting rid of the organs. Start by cleaning the brain. Make sure to scrub the end of the brain cleaning all those dirty thoughts. Next, you should rinse the heart and the lungs, If you have kids, and they're afraid of the dark, that's no problem! All you have to do is take the heart you rinsed, dry it, cut a hole at the bottom of the heart, and then stick a light bulb inside of it and there you have it! A homemade red night light for your kids! Next up, we have the tongue, the livers, and the kidneys. Make sure to cut and rinse them so that you can cook them to feed to the homeless and the starving children. Now that we have the organs out of the way, lets now focus on the body parts. Start by chopping off the arms and legs. If you got an arm with long nails, keep it. It can be used as a back scratcher. Now if you have an itch on your back that you can't reach, just take your handy dandy cheap back scratcher and let that handle it for you. If you ended up with a strong and muscled arm, you could use that as a baseball bat. Why buy a $100 baseball bat, if you can just recycle a muscled man's arm and own one for free. Legs can be used as a baseball bat also, but I prefer using it as a golf puck since you'll have more chances on hitting the golf ball with the side of the feet. Skin with tattoos on them can be used as children band aids. If one of your children has a cut, just take the tattooed skin, and just duct tape it to the injured area. And there you go! See how recycling people can make a huge difference to the world now that it'll be cleaner since no one can throw their trash anywhere because they're dead and recycled. Recycling people leads to more food, better health, and a decrease in the human population.